Lost Strength
by Singer of the Hills
Summary: Hitsugaya Centric. Innocence has been forgotten for war, but war has never been forgotten for innocence. Slightly dark.


Three cheers for angst! WHEEEEE!

Disclaimer : Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. Not me. Or my guinea pig, for that matter.

* * *

He's strong.

He's strong in both mind and body, to the point he can reach bankai at a supremely early age. Everyone recognizes and respects his strength, whether they like it or not.

But he's not powerful.

What is 'power' anyways?

_...The possession of control or command over others..._

Men like Kurosaki are powerful. Kurosaki, a mere human instantly endowed with shinigami powers, managed to shake Sereitei to its very roots. He felled Kenpachi and Kuchiki and uncountable numbers of nameless shinigami. He had gained enough power to topple the system and everything tangled in it. Why? To save a girl he had known for a few months.

Hitsugaya couldn't defeat two men to protect a girl he had known for decades.

Men like Aizen were powerful. The traitor knew the easiest and most efficient paths to control : kindness and a smile. He could not possibly conquer minds like Unohana or Urahara, no matter how superior his own intelligence was. So he knew he had to pull at the ever-weak heart, which would inevitably allow the minds to succumb. After that, everything could not help but be a peace of cake. This kind of power, the power of knowing, is somewhat less admirable than Kurosaki's, and far less showy. But it is feared nonetheless.

Hitsugaya could never control the heart of anyone, especially his own.

Men like Kurotsuchi are powerful. His is a...unique sort of power. It is not subtle, like Aizen's. But it is not courageous, like Kurosaki's. Perhaps the best way to describe it is utterly mad. And madness has no guilt, no shame. So he literally can do whatever he wants, unrestrained by morals or ethics. He will use any resources under him with little or no regard, whether it be his tools, his men, or himself. The means are nothing but a fading afterthought, for only the results remain for him. His initial strength may be small, even puny in comparison. But in the end the fact that he uses what others never will, that is what makes him powerful. And to him, 'in the end' is all that matters.

Hitsugaya is too upright, too worrisome to blind himself to the consequences.

A war is coming. Its shadows are creeping on the edges of both Hueco Mundo and Soul Society. The sides are evenly matched in strength. They say a grain of rice can tip the scale. Toshiro desperately needs power, right now. But it is too late for training his body, and his mind is too new to the world to manipulate.

So the only option left is to go insane.

---

Ukitake breathed in the scent of last night's rain. Kiyone and Sentaro will probably fret about their captain being around-and-about in this cold weather, but Jushiro will deal with that later.

Inoue-chan was taken away, swept into the depths of the enemy. Although he had to state differently, Jushiro knows that the girl did not betray. Still...Souske's move troubles him. Is he really that unpatient, to go and start plucking away the enemy when the war hasn't even started?

No, Ukitake corrects himself. The war started. It started when Hitsugaya's team got attacked, when Aizen got his hands on the Orb, when shinigami first started purifying hollows. And from the looks of it, this war won't be ending any time soon.

Everyone is busy preparing. Including the captains. What the subordinates believed to be 'near-invincibility' turned out to be quite un-invincible. Even Yamamoto was shaken by Aizen's sheer force. Many people come looking for Ukitake taicho, hoping for reassurance in his warmth. And he gladly takes them in.

One of those peoples is Rangiku. But apparently, she is not worried about herself. She is worried about her dear taicho. Hitsugaya _changed_ after the betrayal, perhaps as much as Momo. While they are not as visible, these changes are as terrible. What little humor and affection he possessed is now non-existant. All he talks about is duty, and fighting, and protecting. Matsumoto has seen her taicho sweating furiously on the training grounds, to the point she has to ask him to tone it down, in fear of his health.

Jushiro understands the boy. He was outraged by his defeat by Aizen. And while he tries to get stronger, Toshiro knows it will never be enough. He will certainly fail once more, and Hitsugaya cannot stand failure. He drives himself in increasingly harsh mindsets, into craziness. Ukitake can understand all of this. After all, who doesn't want to dip their hands in more power during a war?

Yet, Ukitake wishes for Hitsugaya to wait a little longer. That naive strength is beautiful in its purity, in its youthful weakness. Power is something used by men who have lost that strength, for they bitterly know what power is capable of.

Power corrupts.

* * *

I'm just curious. Did anyone catch with the physical/mental/emotional theme I put in? Anyone?

Yes, I know that Hitsugaya does not go into ultra-workaholic-unhappy-mode. So I took some creative liberties. The world won't end or anything, right? (Turns head to see giant flaming meteors crash into the ground and alien spaceships flying around.)

Review. You are compelled by the Force.


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